The FINALe.

I finished my first real college final today.

Psychology. My major.

Alright on the first midterm, horrible on the second, ehh on the paper.

In other words, I needed to Ace this one.

You'd think I'd study harder than I actually did, considering the gravitas of the situation in which I placed myself.

Buuut I didn't.

And although I recognize I should've disciplined myself more, cracked down, and started studying, I don't regret what I did with my time (that is, hanging out with the people I won't be seeing come May 29th until school starts...well, that's a lie cause you're all coming to visit! ...right?! =/)

Regardless of how well I did, I should be taking comfort in the fact that the final is over, the class is done with, and I can move on.

I should be happy it's over.

But I'm not.

And it's not because I didn't study.

It's not because I didn't do as well as I'd hoped.

No.

It's because it reminds me that my freshman year is basically over.

And I've realized

- that I'm still a little indignant that I was a spring admit, and I didn't get that first semester here that everyone else did with each other. That this semester just flew by...

- that next year is coming. As much excitement as living in a new apartment with three amazing people is going to be, and as honoring as it is to be serving in Intervarsity, there's still the fact that friendships will be lost (as well as strengthened) during that year, classes will be harder, and I will basically have no time for anything.

- that I'm already done with 1/4 of my college experience. And yes, I know, I still have three more years, but before we know it we're going to graduate. It's true!

In any case, I'm not ready for the change ahead of me.

I don't know the path God will be taking me on this next year.

But that's ok;

Because I don't need to know the way,

if I stay close to the One who does.