a massive, unshakeable, firm, rock.
covered in slime, muck, and moss.
slippery, wet.
i'm climbing that rock.
--or, at least, attempting to.
but i falter.
flounder.
i get a grasp, but not for too long before i start slipping again.
i try, but i guess i'm not good enough.
why am i not as scared as i should be?
why don't i care anymore?
...have i ever?
why don't i care about my future?
about how my present actions affect tomorrow?
when did this "oh, i'll do better next time" mentality arise?
and what if there isn't a next time?
oh Lord Jesus help me.
