An Extroverted Explanation.

I've lately been recognizing the diversity of life with which God has blessed me.

My summer has been constantly filled with meeting different people. People, people, people.

People I haven't seen in a year (or years!),

People I have so desperately wanted to catch up with,

People I have had the privilege of meeting for the first time,

People I have missed while I was in college,

People in college whom I have missed while I've been home.

As I looked through my calendar and, for a lack of better wording, a checklist of people I intend(ed) to get together with this summer, a few re-occuring comments about how I choose to spend my time resurfaced. One of the most true and challenging? That I have a lot of friends, and sometimes I spread myself too thin wanting to hang out with them all.

Yes, true. To an extent, there is only so much time and I have to choose wisely who I spend it with. (And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying "hold on to every single person you meet"...sometimes the most memorable experiences are ones that can never happen again.) But on the other hand, I asked God what He desired for me through all these relationships. Not just with each person individually, but overall... in other words: why did God put so many people in my life?

And I heard Him say, "Because they're all different, and you need to learn from them."

And I need to be reminded of how gorgeous diversity is,

That is it not something to be generalized and overlooked, but realized and embraced.

And paradoxically, something in which any two people find common ground to connect.

Even more,

I can see how God is preparing my heart for my future as a small group leader,

how the plethora of people, beliefs, and struggles I will soon encounter

is not something to overlook but welcome,

something that results in common ground not ignored differences.

I find happiness knowing I'm hanging out with this person and that completely different person at the same time;

I see beauty in sitting between the traditionalist and raging progressive, waiting till they find something they agree on;

I feel God uniting the Buddhist and the Christian as I listen to their hearts for social justice;

I love that God is teaching me through the smoker, the drunkard, the liberal, the pastor, the atheist, and whatever label anyone can put on all my friends.

God has blessed me with a beautiful life, wondrous people, and endless blessings. And no matter what hell lives on around me, what struggles bring me down, or what sorrows break my heart, I choose to find rest in the fact that He has a great plan.

A Rock in this Hard Place.

There are a lot of things that constantly swim around in my mind.

Things on repeat.

Things I've constantly had to deal with.

Over, and over, and over again.

And my mind is indecisive. Stuck

Between the idea that

"I may very well have to deal with this for the rest of my life

and I need to be ok knowing that

there are things that will just never change, or be fixed."

and the idea that

"if I just be patient, and wait, and hope,

the storm will eventually pass;

I will get through this."

But GOD,

as I pray for understanding

I WILL give you THANKS

because I am still blessed

I WILL hold on to You

because YOU are YOU

and I am simply not.

and maybe I just need a change in focus;

from the self-depricating thoughts that

I keep failing and failing,

to the uplifting, encouraging realizations that

You continuously give me another chance

so thank you for your peace

that passes all understanding.

The Next Marie Digby

(except I don't intend on dropping out of Berkeley).

yesterday marks the start of a new hobby:

guitar.

too bad i started so late,

especially because in about a month i'll be traveling back up north for school,

which will be full of school, homework, small group leading, sorority attending,

and less of alone time, that much needed r&r time,

and to now add to the list, practice time!

that and i don't have a guitar with which to practice.

sad times.

but i'm here for 5 more weeks

minus that week in berkeley

and that week in hawaii

so let the finger pains begin!

It's hard, but

I must strive to see Jesus in every person.

Defy it

with love.

"As we read the Gospels, we find Jesus' message putting him more and more in conflict with the religious and political leaders of his day. He's threatening their power. This is what loves does, it threatens the empires of power and control and wealth and manipulation."

- Rob Bell, Sex God