It's that 10-day mark before I leave for Australia, and for the last two days I've been lying in bed, wasting time, and watching re-runs of shows I don't even like all that much. Instead of making the most of the time I have left here hanging out with people I never get to see during the school year, making a dent in the pile of books I promised myself I'd read over break, prepping myself spiritually/physically for life abroad, or even finishing that list of to-do's before I head out, I'm here eating not-so-good food watching not-so-funny TV.

Over the last few weeks, my feelings have teetered between panic about what there is left to do and peace that I'm trusting God will work everything out. There's still so much to do before departing (or at least it feels that way) that I don't even know where to start or how to begin.  There's things I have to do, like packing and buying all the necessities, and things I want to do but don't really have to right now, like making that list of places to go and things to see.

But on the other hand, there's really not that much left to do but to go.  And I want to just go. I don't have everything figured out, yes, and as scary as that may be, it's also exciting, interesting, and somewhat peace-giving to know that I'm learning to be less of a J. Not that I'm becoming more of a P necessarily, but I am realizing that I'm becoming more reliant not on myself but on God. Just like in life, you can plan and plan and plan, but you'll never be fully prepared for everything, and sometimes you just have to roll with things and take them as they come.

God's telling me that this is going to be a season of great change for me, and He will show me miracles that my eyes have never seen, grow me in ways I've never thought possible, and love me in ways I've never imagined. But of me He requires the utmost confidence and trust in Him, constant devotion to His voice and every command, and lastly to just ...go.