What Am I Doing Here?

God, show me why I am here.

And as I take this month-long break
from the reality of school, small group leading,
from my solid Christian community back at home up north,

May you challenge me not to take a break from YOU.

Remind me that my present surroundings
should not define my attitude towards you and others,
will not inhibit my desire for more of you,
cannot give me cause to pursue you less,
and does not shape how you have been molding me already.

Forgive me for thinking that waiting on you
somehow meant sitting idly by,
counting down the days till I returned to good community,
believing that you could not renew this spiritually dry desert.

For you breathe life into dry bones,
You bring what is dead back to life.

And I KNOW that you are GOD.

And thank you for seeing this struggle
And refusing to let it go.


This is my prayer in the desert,
and all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides.