At the Big "C".

One tear.

FORCED.

Because "it's better to cry than hold it in."

But what was I crying about?

One more tear.

Still PUSHING.

Because I have no confidence in me. Because I hate me.

But what is it about me that I doubt?

More tears.

Flowing.

Because I hate that I hate me.

While the rest of the world boxes

more serious bouts.

And so I step Back. go Back. and Remember.

That although my life is a mess, it is truly blessed.

and I go through these tests to persevere, to learn, to overcome fear.

...to rest... here... in. God's. presence.

That I don't live in the past but the present --

In the presence of a FORCE that pushes past

my anger, my hurt, my tears

and gently whispers in my ear that HE IS NEAR.

One last tear.

Simple.

Because, in the end, I know I live a good life.

And I know Who my life is all about.