Purify My Heart.

I praise God because He has brought me into this wilderness.

What He is trying to show me is unclear as of now,
and I feel as if I am in a constant search of something,
and yet that something is unclear as well.

But He is calling me to a time
of relentless pursuit of Him, of focused vigilance,
of a sincere time of trial and - what's more -
triumph in searching for Him.

The Holy Spirit is moving me...
A movement from recognizing what God has done for me,
what He is doing for me,
and what He promises for me...
to a time of perceiving and being aware of Who He is,
unchanged by time.

And a word that I hear as I enter into this wilderness,
into this week of fasting and seeking God
and understanding the redemption and love of a Father
is the word purity.

So Jesus, teach me what it means to be pure,
and may these lessons give me a greater insight
and a truly broken heart
for this Good Friday,
and a greater, deeper reverence
for this Glorious Sunday.

Joy Everlasting

What does it mean to have continuous joy?

A joy that is lasting;
that remains unaffected by circumstances
whether positive or negative;

Is joy a response? Or a belief?
Is joy something not out of emotion but cognition?


What is joy? And how does it become lasting?

Over the past couple weeks, people have thanked God for the continuous joy I impart each day.  For some reason, I question what they see. Why? Because I don't feel joyous all the time. In fact, of late I've rarely felt joy. Unless I do have this joy, and I just don't understand that it truly is.

I wonder they mean by this sense of continuous joy I exhibit.
I wonder if I really know what it means to have joy, to be joyous.

perpetual joy.

i'm sitting out on a patch of grass on Northside, with a

bright blue, beautiful sky
a Sun so warming and comforting
and breeze so gentle it invites me.

and i am happy.
and i thank God.

but then the clouds.
they come and block me from attaining the Sun's
comfort and warmth
and turns the breeze chilly and hostile.

can i still be happy?
can i still thank God?